Dear Body, it’s me Bronwyn. But I’m you and you’re me so that really doesn’t make sense anyway. I know we have an on-off relationship and even when we’re on, I’m not really even aware that I like you it normally happens when we’re on a break and I see a throwback picture of us and I’m like ‘but we were so perfect together, what happened?’.
So today I’m writing you this letter to work through our issues together but partially to create some awareness however small that it’s really difficult to be a woman and then be a normal or plus-sized woman and still love yourself. It’s easy to blame the media for creating this monster (which they did) that promotes twig-like woman being the only desirable being in the world. I mean they make us believe that if we diet long enough and run far enough we’re going to magically become 1,75m and 50kg. Yes well I have finally come to the realization that that’s an absolute lie from some evil man sitting in a fancy office in a skyscraper who has some serious mommy issues and therefore wants the rest of the female population to feel the same way.
I’ve battled weight since primary school, then being taller & more muscular than my peers thinking I’m fat when I actually looked amazing, throughout high-school eventhough as a teenager I hated everything I mostly looked good. Up until university when first-year syndrome hit and I fluctuate between a size any normal women would be happy with and oh-my-word if I look at the doughnut I’m going to bust of of these jeans! I’m still scarred by university lifestyle and cannot get myself to eat 2-minute noodles or pasta ever again.
But why? Why are we so hell-bent changing our bodies? Why can we not just except that we all are built differently? And love that and embrace that? Why is it that when we get dressed we are worried about what other women are going to think? Why are women so hard on each other when we all have the same daily struggle? You’re beautiful as you are. But if the beholden (that’s you) doesn’t know it, does it matter if someone else does?
Take this dress for example, I was looking for a dress to a wedding I attended last weekend and bought this thinking I would fit into it sans any bumps by May (I bought this dress 3 months ago). And guess what? I fitted into it in the changing room when I first tried it on and it fits now but in my crowded mind I told myself I need to look perfect if I’m going to wear it (Please note: this dress was never worn to the wedding). Perfect meaning flat tummy, no love handles, small boobs and a big perky butt. I mean I type it out now and I can see how ridiculous that sounds because I will not have small boobs or a big butt because my body is just not built that way. It’s frustrating but it’s a real struggle I have created in my mind. So then perhaps it’s not that much your fault for having below standard genes, body?
So what’s with us? What’s with this body bashing? What’s with this perfection seeking? Do I feel better after venting? Absolutely! Will it change anything? Absolutely not!
Dear Body, I guess we’re a work in progress…
Shot by: Burton Witbooi @burtonwitbooi
Coat: Zara (about a year ago)
Dress: Cotton on
Shoes: Mr. Price (about 2 years ago)